I Forget

And sometimes I forget. I forget that he has autism. It doesn't matter. It is absent. It can not be seen or heard. It is when he fits right in. It is when he is accepted by others. When he's included, I forget. That's what happened today. I forgot my son has autism. It didn't cone to mind. This is especially true as he was socializing with others and as he was greeting people who passed by at the park. A little girl played with him. They dug for worms. They were happy. They were playing and using their imagination. They were being kids. Together. No discrimination. He was even told he was cute. Then he made more friends. Two boys. My husband and I watched him play and interact. It was a game of tag then hide and seek. Whatever it was, he was smiling. He was communicating appropriately. He was with two other boys his age. Autism did not matter then. They liked him. When they had to leave, they told JJ they'll see him later. It was great joy to watch that. We gave him space and observed him. He was super happy and content. Just a regular kid. That is all. He fit right in. Autism didn't matter. At that time, it didn't. Not at all. For that, I'm grateful.

It is OK...Jorge Juan

It is OK with me if Jorge Juan wants to wear the same T-shirt for a couple days in a row and also if he wants to wear miss-matched socks. It is a part of having an opinion and say in things. It is OK with me if Jorge Juan wants to jump on his bed and put stickers all over his wall, it is a part of self expression. It is OK if Jorge Juan does not eat all of his dinner because he loves to drink water and he lets us know when he is hungry. No one wants to be forced to eat, so it is OK. It is OK for Jorge Juan to want long hair, therefore we will not force hi to cut it. This is also a part of his identity and self expression which is very important to children. It is OK if Jorge Juan wants to wear clothes that do not match because he is getting the opportunity to make a choice based on his likenesses. It is OK for Jorge Juan to have fun, play and make a big mess. It is important not to stop the learning and playing process. That is a child's work. It is OK for him to also help clean and have responsibilities. It is OK if he wants to write his name like this, JoRge because he is writing well and has advanced well in his fine motor skills. It is OK for Jorge Juan to get dirty, after all that is what soap is for. He can dig for worms, play outside, run, make a mess of his clothes because he is healthy enough to do so and that is also what being a child is about. It is OK if he does not want to complete his homework all at one sitting. Children need breaks, mentally, physically and emotionally just as we do. It is OK if Jorge Juan watches TV because he can learn a lot from quality programming and also because he loves to read, a lot. It is OK for Jorge Juan to not take a bath every single night, he is a kid but he does know the importance of brushing his teeth and going to the dentist. It is OK for Jorge Juan to play game son his tablet and also to play in a kitchen area holding a doll baby if he so chooses to. It is all about imagination and the learning of life skills. It is OK for him to voice his opinion and feelings as they need to be validated as any other person's. It is OK for him to eat candy and pop corn because he loves to eat fish (I do not, my husband does) and eats lots of raw fruits and vegetables. It is OK for Jorge Juan to color minions red and the Hulk black if he chooses to. It is creativity and thinking outside the box. It is OK for him to pretend play using figures, blocks, spoons, sticks, cups or anything else that is not a traditional "toy". This is where great learning happens. It is OK for him to slide down the stairs, after all it is beneficial for children to engage in risky play. It is OK for Jorge Juan to be friends with all types of children despite gender, race or religion. It is OK for him to say that he does not want to go to school. We all have our days where we are just tired and want to stay in bed. It is OK for him to watch the same movie time after time because he made the choice to do so. It is OK if he stims in public, burps or farts, as long a she holds his manners and says excuse me, for the latter 2 of course. He shall never have to be made ashamed for stimming and people see him as I will never try and stop him.

And it is OK that he is on the autism spectrum because look at all he can do. It is a blessing. He just does not have special needs, he has all the needs and desires of typical children everywhere.

My Boy: Part 42

Little toys everywhere. Tiny. Small. Little. Miniscule. They are everywhere. Jorge Juan loves them. Ever since he was a baby. He always has to hold something in his hands preferably tiny figures, army guys and things of that nature particularly squinkies. I mean everywhere. He puts them in socks, not just his but Daddy's and Mommy's too. I have found them in the couch and in between the seats of the car, in the bathroom and even looking down the drain. Ever since I could remember and even before we knew he had autism, there were little things in his hands and it made him super happy. He never put anything in his mouth either. I remember one time he carried a tiny button around for days and became upset when he lost it. When he falls asleep he always has something small in his hand and sometimes both hands too. In the middle of the night, when he was younger, if he'd drop them or they'd fall..he would cry until they were found. Meaning at whatever hour in the morning we would wake up and have to help him look in his crib/bed. It would really upset him. It gives him comfort and it is not hurting him do I'm okay with that. I would remember what he had in his hands while he was falling asleep so that way if he'd happen to wake up I know what to look for. This was helpful because he was non verbal until after he was 3 and a half years old almost 4. So this is his thing, ya know. It is what he likes. He brings tiny toys in his coat picket on the bus to kindergarten and he used to bring toys when be was in preschool but he had to hand them back to me at the door. When he was a baby one time he had a total of 5 big stuffed animals that he just had to bring in the car. We were going out to eat and he brought them inside. He cried because they would fall be cause it was such a large amount for his hands..I did not understand at the time. I though to myself the behavior wasn't typical though. But typical is boring, right?